FootyChatter.com

EPL On Monday, December 5, 2016, Bournemouth’s under-16s learned whether they had received a two-year scholarship and would be integrated into a full-time programme. Earning a scholarship meant bridging the gap between being a schoolboy and a professional footballer, with the next major decision coming in two years and if you would move from the under-18s to an outright professional. Advertisement Most of the 16 players had been at Bournemouth for several years. They trained five times a week, with a match on Sunday, and took every Wednesday off school to play at the club. Nine players were awarded scholarships, but two remain in the professional game, eight are playing in leagues below at varying standards and, like the rest who walked away from football, have pursued other careers, from working in manual labour to being in the marines. The stories are varied, some are difficult to read, and the impact of the Covid-19 pandemic did not help released youngsters either as clubs lower down the football pyramid cut their cloth. From left to right, back row: Calum Ward, Jake Cope, Brennan Camp, Jacob Tanswell, Josh Davies, Ryan Glover, Nathan Clements, Tom Parker-Trott. Front row: Jack Torniainen, Jake Scrimshaw, Nathan Clements, Mason Goddard, Luke Nippard, Ben Scorey, Jack Tozer, Tom Dinsmore (Jacob Tanswell/The Athletic) Position: Left-back

Joined: Under-14s

Left: Pre-scholarship That December meeting was supposed to be one of our normal assessments, not expecting whether we had been offered a scholarship. But I remember one lad coming out of his in tears. He had been told no. Coaches said the same to me after. I wasn’t shocked, but I was numb. There had been no pre-warning. Football was never the be-all and end-all for me, so I wasn’t destroyed like some boys were. I’ve always prioritised education over football. A message came through from Bournemouth’s academy education officer, Dawn Roach, who was great. She sent me a link to Bradfield College, which was promoting scholarships. It was a private school where you could combine education with high-level football. At Bournemouth, I would finish school and dread going to training. It was gut-wrenching — when it would be cancelled I was buzzing. I don’t think I wanted to go pro. The main reason was because I was associated with football. I was known as ‘Sam the footballer’ and when you get released, a big part of you has gone. Those environments are good for footballers because you have to thrive under pressure, but it’s not healthy. Advertisement After Bradfield, I got an unconditional offer from the University of Nottingham — through football — studying politics and international relations. When I returned from travelling after uni, I applied to join the Royal Marines. I’ve always enjoyed physical pursuits and started triathlons. Training was full on. It’s a very high-stress environment. I don’t know whether playing in an academy since I was eight, at Portsmouth, Southampton and Bournemouth, pushed me towards that. I’m in week 14 of 36 of basic training. We go on exercise once a fortnight and you’re cold, wet and sleeping on the floor. We start at 5. 30am and march for miles with massive backpacks and I sometimes think, “Why am I doing this? ”. I’ve been to France for three days and we’re going to Dartmoor next week, learning how to use night vision goggles. If I finish basic training, I’ll be deployed to a unit anywhere in the UK and then if I go on mission, I could be deployed anywhere, from Syria to Ukraine. Since talking to The Athletic, Sam has completed his basic training and is stationed at 42 Commando near Plymouth, focusing on maritime interdiction operations. Position: Attacking midfielder

Joined: Under-10s

Left: Under-16s I left at the start of under-16s and I wasn’t enjoying football. I didn’t feel part of the squad. I was playing down a few years due to bio-banding and it wasn’t explained properly, which knocked my confidence.   GO DEEPER Bio-banding: Sport's attempt to stop talent drain of stars with late-maturing bodies Under-16s was the crunch year and I was injured, missing all of pre-season. I do regret not continuing for the rest of the year, but I thought there would be other opportunities. I didn’t feel that much pressure to perform at training — it was just my confidence. I was small for my age and other players around me were getting stronger and I wasn’t growing, I was happiest playing when I was 12, but I wasn’t so desperate to be a footballer. Maybe that’s why I didn’t improve as I wasn’t very dedicated. I did a scholarship at Eastleigh but Covid hit and I decided to get a job. My family are tradesmen and I’m quite practical. I became a plumber and work became more important. I never thought I would stop playing football, which I have, but I don’t get itchy feet to get back into it.   Position: Central midfield/right-back

Joined: Under-12s

Left: Second-year professional I remember thinking, “If I don’t get a pro, what am I going to do? ” Luckily, they gave me the pro and I felt like I had made it. When I look back, it was only a tiny bit of the puzzle completed. Bournemouth never gave opportunities properly to those who deserved one. We would be used as spare players in 11-v-11 matches. It was very rare to see someone be called up to the first team if you were doing well, more the case of being selected if they needed your position for numbers.   Advertisement I have always enjoyed football, but my love changed. When you grow up, you need money, it becomes a job. There was a constant pressure of thinking, “I could suddenly be out of a job. ” In the end, we had a meeting after the 2021-22 season — just me and the coaches — and they said, “I think you know what’s coming, it’s time for you to move on. ” I felt all right about it. I joined Weymouth and the start was really good. I didn’t want to drop to the National League South (the sixth tier), but I had two big hamstring injuries and stopped playing. It was the first time I struggled mentally. I would talk to my girlfriend and family about it but never a long sit down about how I truly felt. Everyone knew I was upset but never wanted to talk through it. I felt disappointed for my dad, Wayne. He came to every game and now I wasn’t playing. I was embarrassed.   Last summer, I got myself a job. I work for my best mate’s dad’s solar company, doing stock control at a warehouse. It was supposed to be part-time, but I enjoyed it and stayed and fitted in football. I was sceptical about dropping to Poole Town (in the seventh tier of English football) but I’m happy with the decision. Now I’m working, I’m more tired, getting up earlier and my diet is affected. I start at 7. 30am and get to the gym around 4pm. My main aim is to keep getting a wage from football and work. I want to get back up the ladder, but I have a career outside of football and there’s a pathway down that route. Position: Central midfield

Joined: Under-12s

Left: First-year professional I got offered a scholarship and my life just changed. I became a full-time footballer. I went to my school prom on a Friday but because we had training on Saturday, I left early. I never went to any after-parties because the next day they were taking urine samples. I would go to digs on Sunday night having lived in Portsmouth (90 minutes away), be there for the week and only see my family and friends on Sunday mornings. Once I passed my driving test, I could go back and see my mates. We were supposed to be in digs at 9pm, but I would get back at 10. 30 pm. I dreaded going back after being home. Advertisement I did a two-year scholarship and got a pro. Could I have done more in terms of professionalism? You always could. Maybe be stricter on my diet… but I have no regrets — I worked hard and did what I was told to do. But I wanted to live my life as a young adult. I’ve seen it with lads who are pushed to be a footballer. I’ve got stories that I can share with my mates because I was hanging out with them. I have those memories instead of sitting on the sofa and getting a few hours of extra rest. I trained a couple of times with the first team. I remember having lunch with Lewis Cook. But Covid came around and I got released. In April 2020, I had a Zoom call and they said there were a lot of midfielders and it was best for me to leave. I sat at the dining room table and cried my eyes out. Bournemouth sent me compilation clips to give to prospective clubs, but because of Covid, no one had any money for trials. I had been in the academy for seven years, so I didn’t feel like a failure, more so that I was stepping into the unknown — I had never had a job and all I knew was football. What was I going to do now? My head was spinning and it took a while to calm down. Six months on, I realised going pro was not on the cards. I knew a lad coaching in Portsmouth and got in touch about doing summer work. His company offered me a job at the start of August 2020 and I’ve been working there ever since. The company I work with teaches PE at schools. This morning, I did one school between 9am and 12pm, went to another this afternoon and then an after-school football club at another. In the summer, it’s the best job in the world. I teach football, athletics and cricket. I keep an eye on my old team-mates. I don’t text them but we have this mutual interest. I used to see these guys seven days a week for years. I spent more time with them than anyone else in my life. We were attached at the hip. I’m now playing for United Services (in the Wessex Premier League, the ninth level) with my friends and it is the most fun I’ve had in football. Position: Goalkeeper

Joined: Under-11s

Left: Second-year professional I wasn’t progressing as quickly as they wanted in the first year of scholarship. The season after, I got chucked into the National League South at Weymouth. Covid hit and the league was decided on a points-per-game basis and we got put into a semi-final play-off. Jaidon Anthony (who has since played for Bournemouth in the Premier League) was on loan and scored two goals for us. We then played Dartford in the final and won on penalties to be promoted into the National League. Advertisement I returned to Bournemouth and went from playing every week to sitting on the bench for the under-21s. I lost rhythm and things got tough mentally. I went on a two-week trial at Southend United.

January was coming up and Asmir Begovic was still at the club. One day, I suddenly find out I’m going on loan to Helsinki. I was just like, “What the f*** is going on? ”.  It was so bizarre. Yet the reason was that their goalkeeper coach knew Asmir and they had talked. In April, Bournemouth’s academy goalkeeper coach Gareth Stewart phoned me to release me, having given me the option of a video call. I didn’t get upset, I was expecting it. They said I could come back until the end of my contract in June and they would help find me another club or sort a permanent transfer to Helsinki.   When I look back to the boy who joined a 10-year-old, it’s so different. Back then, you’ve got no worries in the world. In those first few years, I was just buzzing to play football and even when I was 15 and put on a six-week trial where coaches basically said if I didn’t play well I’d be gone, I still enjoyed it. But it does change. I did that season in Helsinki and signed here (AC Oulu, playing in the Veikkausliiga, Finland’s top division), where this is my third season. I’ve played every week and done really well. My ambition is to kick on and get a move to another country — I’ve just left Oulu and am deciding on my next club. I don’t plan to come back to England. More footballers should go abroad. English football is so repetitive. If you get stuck in the academy system, you can’t get out, it takes up years of your life. Three years of living in Finland and I have loved every part of the experience. Inside the polarising world of youth football Position: Winger/attacking midfielder

Joined: Under-11s

Left: Third-year professional I got my scholarship a year early at 15. I had been playing in the year above and had made my under-21s debut, so I knew I was going to get it. I was always the joker in the group. Some people thought I was an idiot, which was fair, but I had no nerves — I was so confident in my ability. Nowadays, my confidence fluctuates. I’m so much more aware of everything. Advertisement I wasn’t as professional as I am now. I would hang around older people and go out and drink aged 15. I moved into a host family five minutes away from my house in Bournemouth so they could keep tabs on me. Someone would take a photo of me out and report back. I’ve been at places where I’ve seen coaches and had to run away. I went on loan to Weymouth and started well. I got man of the match in a few games, but I was experiencing a sharp pain in my knee. After a scan, the consultant said I had a bone that wasn’t fused and needed keyhole surgery. Then he said I didn’t have an ACL (anterior cruciate ligament). I was out for 14 months and returned just as Covid came. It turned out I had been playing without an ACL since I was 12. I remember the game now — we were playing against Yeovil, I had a shot and my knee went. Everyone thought it was just cartilage. For the next few years, my knee kept clicking.   As soon as I got a pro, I started comparing myself to others. It affected me as I lost my individualism. I conformed to the safe way of getting the ball and passing.  I look back at that time with anger because if I didn’t have the injury, I would be in League One or League Two. I was around the first team under Parker. Players like (Denmark international) Philip Billing started giving me a nickname and players saw I had a bit about me. I was on the bench for some league games and made my competitive debut against Norwich City. Bournemouth signed more players and I went out on loan to Aldershot Town, but I had done my hernia and was in agony. I would cry in pain after every session but I thought, “If I don’t play, I’m not going to get a new contract at Bournemouth, ” so I played three-quarters of the season with a hernia. I’d painkiller myself up. I was doing two 800-milligram ibuprofen pills, so 1600mg every morning (more than double the National Health Service’s recommended dosage). The doctor didn’t know I was taking two tablets, but I had to numb myself. Bournemouth thought I would have done better that season and hadn’t hit the numbers I should have. I got three goals and three assists in 20 games. They were good as they’d let me go but paid for my surgery and rehabbed me. Looking back, I didn’t know what I had until it was gone. The facilities, the physios, the food and being treated like a prince. I then joined Aldershot permanently and got 14 assists and seven goals in one season before I joined Barnet this summer. I can get to League One or League Two. I feel I’m ready for that. Before I’m 30, I can be in the Championship. Position: Left-back/right-back

Joined: Under-9s

Left: Pre-scholarship The first batch of players got released, but I had an extra two months to prove myself. My final game was for the under-18s. I ran around 14 kilometres and the only thing I did wrong was miss a sitter towards the end. I just knew that was me done. I was expecting to be released, but it still affected me. I had been there since I was eight and for that one meeting? I didn’t tell people I’d got released for a long time. I just said, “I’m looking around other clubs. ” I went to exit trials — organised games with released players from across academies and scouts watch — but didn’t enjoy it. I played left-back and only had one game to show what I could do. I went on trial at Plymouth Argyle, but as soon as I got there, I realised all the pressure I had felt at Bournemouth came back on my shoulders. People were watching and assessing me again.

Advertisement As time went on — and this is not sour grapes — I was relieved. I would wake up in the morning of a game and not want to go; once away to Bristol Rovers, I cried on the way. The pressure was lifted off my shoulders once I got past telling everyone the news. Those who did get a scholarship haven’t got any further than I have now. I made my debut for Eastleigh in the National League, having got a pro deal and I’m now at Wimborne Town (in the seventh tier). Even that’s been tough. Two years ago, I twisted awkwardly and heard a pop. I managed to carry on and a scan would cost a lot of money, so I ignored it. Five months later, I got a scan that showed it was a complete rupture of the ACL. I had also torn my meniscus and had a slight fracture on my knee. Sustaining the injury to having surgery took a year and £8, 000 ($10, 000) for the operation and treatment. I lost so much muscle in my leg and couldn’t leave my room in the early weeks. I broke up with my girlfriend. It was the worst period of my life. The saving grace was that I was working at the Limewood Hotel, making coffee and drinks and made good friends. Working took my mind off it. I became the head bartender and did well, though it wasn’t a long-term career. I’m now in my second week of building surveying, the same as my dad. It works well alongside football as I’m not missing training due to working late. I’m quite happy with where I am on the footballing ladder. I’m doing a lot better than I thought I would after leaving Bournemouth, Eastleigh and my injury. If a team offers full-time and covers the money I’m getting now, I would go. But I’m not actively looking to go upwards. If I stay at Wimborne for the rest of my career, I’d be happy. Position: Central defence

Joined: Under-9s

Left: Pre-scholarship As I grew older, I was far more aware of what was at stake. I sensed pressure, the constant examinations and grading coaches would do after every session and on Sundays, when we were all required to complete a match evaluation form, judging our performance. I had no confidence. I was always one of the louder players but deeply insecure. I was paranoid about what team-mates and coaches thought about me. I felt relieved when matches or training were postponed. Advertisement Away trips were horrible. My legs were sapped of energy and by the time I arrived, I was shattered having played the game through my mind so much. After we lost 4-0 in an under-15s game, the coach said, “You’re getting to the age where you won’t enjoy football. ” That stayed with me. I knew I wouldn’t be offered a scholarship and, deep down, I didn’t want one. But the hurried nature of it all got me; I thought it was a usual assessment, not the final verdict. My team-mates were sitting outside and I had to walk out pretending I was fine. I sought therapy a few years later after experiencing deep anxiety. My parents had driven so many miles and wasted all that money for nothing. I joined Eastleigh on a scholarship but made it clear I didn’t want to be considered for a pro contract and admitted I didn’t enjoy playing football under that pressure. Therapy helped to put football into perspective and encouraged me to pursue journalism. I am working at The Athletic as the Aston Villa correspondent. The coaching at Bournemouth was excellent in providing tactical and game intelligence from an early age, so I managed to channel the best aspects of being in an academy. GO DEEPER Relegation and Idiakez's penalty miss didn't put me off Southampton In 2020, a survey by the Professional Footballers’ Association (PFA) revealed 22 per cent of current or former players felt depressed or had considered self-harm.  Fifty-five per cent of players released by professional clubs have experienced clinical levels of psychological distress. The standout conclusion was symptoms of distress frequently increased in the weeks and months after release. Data regularly shows that of the 1. 5million boys who play organised youth football in England, only 0. 01 per cent will make a single appearance in the Premier League. Even among those who enter an academy structure at nine, Premier League research suggested that it is less than one per cent. The environment is unforgiving, but some parts are required to be a professional. It does result in collateral damage, though.   I still love working in football and watching it, but I’m much happier in front of a laptop than I was on the pitch. Whatever you’re going through, you can call the Samaritans any time, from any phone, on 116 123 (UK) or 1-800-273-TALK (USA). (Top photo: Jacob Tanswell/The Athletic) Get all-access to exclusive stories. Subscribe to The Athletic for in-depth coverage of your favorite players, teams, leagues and clubs. Try a week on us. Jacob is a football reporter covering Aston Villa for The Athletic. Previously, he followed Southampton FC for The Athletic after spending three years writing about south coast football, working as a sports journalist for Reach PLC. In 2021, he was awarded the Football Writers' Association Student Football Writer of the Year. Follow Jacob on Twitter @J_Tanswell