FootyChatter.com

EPL Welcome to the third edition of Row Z, our weekly column on The Athletic shining a light on the bonkers side of the game. From clubs to managers, players to organisations, every Friday we’ll bring you the absurdities, the greed, the contradictions, the preposterousness and the oddities of the game we all love…  New scheduling for this year’s Carabao Cup, designed to make things easier on clubs playing in European competition, has got off to a great start. The third-round draw was seeded to prevent English teams from the Champions League and Europa League playing each other. Manchester City duly drew Watford at home, but can’t play that game on Wednesday, September 25 because Manchester United are at home against FC Twente that night (and it’s not feasible for local authorities and transport to have both Manchester clubs playing in the same city at the same time). Advertisement Thursday, September 26 wasn’t doable either because City travel to Newcastle two days later for a 12. 30pm away-day kick-off at Newcastle. So the best of the worst-case scenarios is to play it on Tuesday, September 24, just two days after City face one of their biggest games of the season at home to Arsenal (Sunday, September 22, 4. 30pm). How did it come to this? Well, UEFA have expanded the Champions League group stage to eight matches, so the number of free midweeks is minuscule. UEFA do care about player welfare, though. No, wait, sorry. Their president Aleksander Ceferin told Gazzetta dello Sport two years ago that: “It’s easy to attack FIFA and UEFA, but the thing is simple. If you play less, you get less money. “Who should complain are the factory workers who get €1, 000 (£843; $1, 110) per month. ” Easy to say when you’re earning £2. 28million per year. Never mind, FIFA are all over it. A mission statement on their website reads: “Of primary importance in football’s present and future is the protection of player health and well-being. “The suggestion for an overhaul of the calendar could include mandatory rest and preparation periods with fewer matches, fewer travels and less time away from clubs and families as a result. ” Also FIFA: let’s expand the Club World Cup to 32 teams and stick it in the U. S. in July at the end of a gruelling season. That means City, having started the season on August 10 in the Community Shield, will play up to 75 matches in all competitions in 2024-25. If you’re a regular international like Portugal’s Bernardo Silva, for example, you have 85 matches in your calendar before the Club World Cup ends on July 13. That’s one game every four days. Is it even worth calling it a season anymore? How about just Football: Infinity? Someone make it stop. GO DEEPER Haaland and Salah form shows benefit of 'proper rest' - FIFPro In the week of Oasis fleecing their fans for £350 to stand in a field/stadium for three hours in Manchester/Cardiff/London etc, it’s important not to lose sight that Premier League clubs are every bit as determined to rip you off. This week’s headlines… GO DEEPER High ticket prices, low supply: The Premier League's age timebomb You’re Harry Kane, you’ve moved to Bayern Munich to end your inexorably long wait for some silverware but, despite your incredible effort of scoring 44 goals in all competitions, you find yourself in the incredibly unfortunate position of your team not winning a trophy for the first time in 12 years. Advertisement Still, the 36 goals you plundered in the Bundesliga at least entitle you to a personal trophy of your own — small comfort for missing out on club trophies. Although it would be pretty annoying if the trophy looked like an exact replica of Arsenal’s club logo. Harry Kane receives the Bundesliga's top scorer award for last season pic. twitter. com/QYGs Ode81D — Bayern & Germany (@i Mia San Mia) September 1, 2024 Keep going, Harry. A completely normal transfer window for Chelsea ended in pretty regulation fashion with Brazilian winger Angelo Gabriel, whom they signed for £13million from Santos last summer and sent straight to sister club Strasbourg on loan, has now gone to Saudi Pro League club Al Nassr for £19. 1m. Nice career arc-Angelo Gabriel. Mrs Ten Hag: “Erik I know you’ve been busy at the kids’ sports day but have you done all the chores around the house that I asked you to do? ” Erik ten Hag: “What do you mean? Tell me, explain which mistakes I made? ” Mrs Ten Hag: “You haven’t put the bins out, there’s washing up in the sink, the electricity bill needs paying…” Erik ten Hag: “I don’t think that’s important when you look at the trophies I won in the dads’ races at sports day. I beat big opponents like Simon from next door in the egg-and-spoon race. I am sorry for you. ” Mrs Ten Hag: “With the greatest of respect, you did brilliantly against Simon, but you almost lost to overweight Dave in the sack race. Let’s have a realistic view on what happened. ” Erik ten Hag: “I think I won, after Simon from next door, the most trophies in the sports day, so I’m sorry for you. ” Mrs Ten Hag: “Goodnight Erik. ” GO DEEPER Ten Hag's 'two trophies' line is true - but it's not the only measure of progress It’s Everton’s last season at Goodison Park and their social media team came up with the lovely idea of asking fans to share pictures to mark the final campaign at the historic old ground. But they rather innocently forgot that, well, this is Everton. Here are the top three so far. https: //t. co/UP0mls0Aj Z pic. twitter. com/ag0ZQep UZf — Adam (@mcnultyadamm) August 31, 2024 https: //t. co/sg Cr ZYw8aq pic. twitter. com/q KKjrd Xnd R — Mr Robot (@bittertoffee) September 1, 2024 https: //t. co/o D2Il Dyn Ze pic. twitter. com/VFIlw Zl6Ht — ? ?? ? ? (@PED7) September 1, 2024 GO DEEPER What makes Everton the Premier League's bleakest club And we finish in Scotland where Moses Ebiye’s 94th-minute winner for Motherwell prompted an understandably jubilant reaction from the club’s in-house commentator. The St Johnstone fans sat nearby didn’t appreciate the noisy celebrations quite so much, with one chap calmly and reasonably threatening to ram the commentator’s microphone where there’s a real lack of sunshine. Nice to see the St Johnstone fans around the Motherwell TV Commentator taking the late goal well ? . pic. twitter. com/tkt MD66Ti H — camer0n_mcd ? (@camer0n_mcd) September 1, 2024 (Top photo: Justin Setterfield/Getty Images) Get all-access to exclusive stories. Subscribe to The Athletic for in-depth coverage of your favorite players, teams, leagues and clubs. Try a week on us. Tim Spiers is a football journalist for The Athletic, based in London. He joined in 2019 having previously worked at the Express & Star in Wolverhampton. Follow Tim on Twitter @Tim Spiers