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EPL Thomas Tuchel has left Jude Bellingham out of his latest England squad (Paul Ellis/AFP via Getty Images) Welcome to Row Z, The Athletic’s weekly column that shines a light on the bonkers side of the game. From clubs to managers, players to organisations, every week we’ll bring you the absurdities, the greed, the contradictions, the preposterousness and the oddities of the sport we all love… Jude Bellingham has been left out of the England squad and it’s a completely normal situation. Bellingham, one of the most gifted young footballers ever to hail from England, who also happens to play for the biggest club in the world, missed the previous squad in September through injury. Advertisement England romped to victories over Andorra (174th in the world rankings) and Serbia (34th) and head coach Thomas Tuchel was so taken with the performances and the dressing-room spirit he has left Bellingham out for this month’s matches against Wales and Latvia. Is there a problem with a player whose on-pitch behaviour Tuchel mistakenly labelled “repulsive” recently? (Tuchel apologised for this. ) Absolutely not! No issue at all. Nothing to see here. Tuchel, who is famed for not falling out with any star players at the clubs he’s managed, said: “We decided to keep with the straightforward decision of inviting the same group. ” Sure. The team who overcame Serbia should be rewarded. If England win every match between now and when the World Cup squad is named (and let’s not forget, they haven’t lost a meaningful qualifier since 2009), then we can expect the same squad to go to the United States, Canada and Mexico? No Bellingham, no Cole Palmer either. Tuchel said there was a chance he would have left Bukayo Saka out too if Noni Madueke hadn’t picked up an injury. Bellingham has played five matches since returning from his injury late last month (one start, four substitute appearances). Did he want to play for England? Yes, according to Tuchel, who added: “Are we a better team with Jude? Yes. But I told you before, what do we do if Jude is injured before the World Cup? Do we just cancel? ” Right, so they’re just getting used to him not being there, in case he actually isn’t there next summer? With only two international camps to go after this one, it might be an idea to practice with your best players? Actually, no wait, Argentina used to drop Diego Maradona so they could get used to playing without him, didn’t they? And Brazil used to leave out Pele all the time. Row Z isn’t comparing the gifted Adam Wharton to Pele (we are), but his absence is peculiar, too. “He just gave me a message saying I’m playing well, I’m close and I deserve to be there but he’s going to stick with the same team, ” Wharton said. Advertisement Deserves to be there like Bellingham? Check. Not there? Check. You’ve got to hand it to the guy, it’s an original notion. The introduction of goal music when Chelsea score at Stamford Bridge has caused a proper kerfuffle, with an online petition and plenty of grumbles from supporters. The club have started playing Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis. A Chelsea source told The Athletic they are looking to try to attract the next generation of fans. So, fans who weren’t even born when Chelsea Dagger was released in 2006, 19 years ago? Nice one. Anyway, as this supporter told Sky Sports, one of their bugbears is that Chelsea Dagger doesn’t actually have anything to do with Chelsea Football Club. What songs do have something to do with Chelsea, then? Row Z has a few suggestions. In honour of the long contracts they give to all their players, how about Eight Years by Bjorn Torske? Bit niche? OK, fair enough. Or maybe Side to Side by Ariana Grande? To reflect Enzo Maresca’s favourite playing style? No? Fumble by Trey Songz whenever Robert Sanchez lets another one in? Oh yeah, I see, we’re looking for Chelsea goal music, not the opposition. Fine, well, what about the self-explanatory More Money Than Sense by Lord Kitchener? It’s genuinely really catchy as well. Yep, nailed it. Forget long throws, the new trend in the game is managers kicking footballs at completely innocent and unsuspecting spectators. Wolves’ Vitor Pereira was sent off during Sunday’s draw against Brighton & Hove Albion for kicking a ball into the little dugout where the Premier League match manager sits. Perhaps he’d had a bad tip for his Fantasy Premier League team. Anyway, that was topped by Chris Wilder, currently enduring his Second Third Coming as Sheffield United boss at the bottom of the Championship. Advertisement Wilder walloped the ball into the crowd as he trudged off at half-time with his team actually winning for once (they went on to lose 2-1 to Southampton) and it hit a spectator. Wilder immediately jumped into the stands and apologised, before being sent off by the referee. Incredibly, he stated he would appeal against the decision, despite being as guilty as the man on the grassy knoll. “I will appeal because, as you’ve seen, I’ve nonchalantly knocked it back — it’s got a bit of a flier on it, ” Wilder said, which is a bit like calling Thomas Skinner a nonchalant dancer. “I’ve gone straight into the stand, I’ve apologised to the guy, everything’s all sorted and I’ve turned around and got a red card put in my face. ” In his face! Honestly, the nerve of that referee. Row Z looks forward to the next time an opponent two-foots a Sheffield United player but then immediately apologises and Wilder will no doubt say: ‘Fair enough, don’t give him a red card, ref. Everything’s all sorted. ’ A freak occurrence at Blackpool, where Steve Bruce was sacked as head coach, along with assistant Steve Agnew and coach Stephen Clemence. That leaves Stephen Dobbie and Steve Banks in temporary charge. Steven Gerrard is only 33/1 to replace Bruce, which feels like long odds. Steve Evans must be in with a shout, too. And all this while there’s a movie out called Steve. What’s going on? What’s the most ostentatious way to describe an event-free, 0-0 draw? Stoke City’s blue-sky, put-a-pin-in-it social media admin went with this… The Potters were unrelenting in their endeavours for a second half winner but an enthralling contest ends with a point apiece. pic. twitter. com/r76zkd DOsd — Stoke City FC (@stokecity) September 30, 2025 Stoke fan Lucas Smallwood summed it up best when he posted: “Just say it’s a draw you pretentious w******. ” Spot the pattern. Connect the terms Find the hidden link between sports terms Play today's puzzle Tim Spiers is a football journalist for The Athletic, based in London. He joined in 2019 having previously worked at the Express & Star in Wolverhampton. Follow Tim on Twitter @Tim Spiers
